Screenplay data
Buckaroo Banzai, a brilliant polymath, invents an Oscillation Overthruster, inadvertently freeing the evil alien Lord John Whorfin, who seeks the device to return to his home planet. Whorfin, disguised as Dr. Lizardo, escapes with his Red Lectroid henchmen and kidnaps Penny Priddy, a woman resembling Buckaroo's deceased wife, to force Buckaroo to surrender the Overthruster. Buckaroo and his team, the Hong Kong Cavaliers, must rescue Penny and prevent Whorfin from using the Overthruster, which would trigger a global nuclear war initiated by the benevolent Black Lectroids. In a final confrontation, Buckaroo defeats Whorfin, disabling his ship and preventing universal conquest, thus saving the world and preparing for future adventures.
Save the Cat beat sheet
The script follows genius Buckaroo Banzai from an extraordinary scientific test, through a mid‐life moment of dimension‐bending success, into escalating conflicts with alien antagonists, and resolves in a daring rescue mission at the villain’s lair.
Open full beat sheetBuckaroo Banzai is listed as Protagonist. World-famous neurosurgeon, physicist, and rock star. In the parsed data, Buckaroo Banzai is connected to 51 scenes, 157 dialogue lines, 273 text mentions, first appearing around scene 11.
51 scenes / 157 dialogue linesPerfect Tommy is listed as Hong Kong Cavalier. Member of Buckaroo's inner circle. In the parsed data, Perfect Tommy is connected to 25 scenes, 56 dialogue lines, 160 text mentions, first appearing around scene 8.
25 scenes / 56 dialogue linesSECRETARY OF DEFENSE is identified from the parsed character and dialogue data. In the parsed data, SECRETARY OF DEFENSE is connected to 25 scenes, 42 dialogue lines, 71 text mentions, first appearing around scene 20.
25 scenes / 42 dialogue linesProfessor Toichi Hikita is listed as Scientist. Maverick physicist and mentor to Buckaroo. In the parsed data, Professor Toichi Hikita is connected to 22 scenes, 37 dialogue lines, 39 text mentions, first appearing around scene 6.
22 scenes / 37 dialogue linesReno is listed as Hong Kong Cavalier. Member of Buckaroo's inner circle. In the parsed data, Reno is connected to 20 scenes, 37 dialogue lines, 127 text mentions, first appearing around scene 70.
20 scenes / 37 dialogue linesRawhide is listed as Hong Kong Cavalier. Member of Buckaroo's inner circle. In the parsed data, Rawhide is connected to 19 scenes, 41 dialogue lines, 147 text mentions, first appearing around scene 10.
19 scenes / 41 dialogue linesDOCTOR LIZARDO is identified from the parsed character and dialogue data. In the parsed data, DOCTOR LIZARDO is connected to 17 scenes, 28 dialogue lines, 46 text mentions, first appearing around scene 58.
17 scenes / 28 dialogue linesJohn Parker is listed as Supporting. Black Arachtoid alien from Planet 10. In the parsed data, John Parker is connected to 14 scenes, 16 dialogue lines, 136 text mentions, first appearing around scene 122.
14 scenes / 16 dialogue linesPenny Priddy is listed as Supporting. A troubled woman who resembles Buckaroo's late wife. In the parsed data, Penny Priddy is connected to 12 scenes, 54 dialogue lines, 82 text mentions, first appearing around scene 64.
12 scenes / 54 dialogue linesGeneral Catburd is listed as Military. Skeptical military general. In the parsed data, General Catburd is connected to 11 scenes, 20 dialogue lines, 36 text mentions, first appearing around scene 8.
11 scenes / 20 dialogue linesPresident Widmark is listed as Government. President of the United States. In the parsed data, President Widmark is connected to 9 scenes, 24 dialogue lines, 32 text mentions, first appearing around scene 150.
9 scenes / 24 dialogue linesNEW JERSEY is identified from the parsed character and dialogue data. In the parsed data, NEW JERSEY is connected to 9 scenes, 13 dialogue lines, 47 text mentions, first appearing around scene 107.
9 scenes / 13 dialogue linesJOHN O'CONNOR is identified from the parsed character and dialogue data. In the parsed data, JOHN O'CONNOR is connected to 9 scenes, 12 dialogue lines, 48 text mentions, first appearing around scene 86.
9 scenes / 12 dialogue linesSCOOTER LINDLEY is identified from the parsed character and dialogue data. In the parsed data, SCOOTER LINDLEY is connected to 7 scenes, 10 dialogue lines, 16 text mentions, first appearing around scene 105.
7 scenes / 10 dialogue linesSENATOR CUNNINGHAM is identified from the parsed character and dialogue data. In the parsed data, SENATOR CUNNINGHAM is connected to 6 scenes, 8 dialogue lines, 11 text mentions, first appearing around scene 20.
6 scenes / 8 dialogue linesBLACK ARACHTOID COMMANDER is identified from the parsed character and dialogue data. In the parsed data, BLACK ARACHTOID COMMANDER is connected to 6 scenes, 8 dialogue lines, 8 text mentions, first appearing around scene 113.
6 scenes / 8 dialogue linesJOHN GOMEZ is identified from the parsed character and dialogue data. In the parsed data, JOHN GOMEZ is connected to 6 scenes, 7 dialogue lines, 32 text mentions, first appearing around scene 86.
6 scenes / 7 dialogue linesMRS. JOHNSON is identified from the parsed character and dialogue data. In the parsed data, MRS. JOHNSON is connected to 5 scenes, 12 dialogue lines, 26 text mentions, first appearing around scene 110.
5 scenes / 12 dialogue linesHIGHWAY PATROLMAN is identified from the parsed character and dialogue data. In the parsed data, HIGHWAY PATROLMAN is connected to 5 scenes, 12 dialogue lines, 17 text mentions, first appearing around scene 95.
5 scenes / 12 dialogue linesDR. LIZARDO is identified from the parsed character and dialogue data. In the parsed data, DR. LIZARDO is connected to 5 scenes, 7 dialogue lines, 23 text mentions, first appearing around scene 65.
5 scenes / 7 dialogue linesJOHN BIGBOOTÉ is identified from the parsed character and dialogue data. In the parsed data, JOHN BIGBOOTÉ is connected to 5 scenes, 6 dialogue lines, 16 text mentions, first appearing around scene 94.
5 scenes / 6 dialogue linesMISSION CONTROL is identified from the parsed character and dialogue data. In the parsed data, MISSION CONTROL is connected to 5 scenes, 6 dialogue lines, 9 text mentions, first appearing around scene 5.
5 scenes / 6 dialogue linesPINKY CARRUTHERS is identified from the parsed character and dialogue data. In the parsed data, PINKY CARRUTHERS is connected to 4 scenes, 6 dialogue lines, 15 text mentions, first appearing around scene 118.
4 scenes / 6 dialogue linesCASPER LINDLEY is identified from the parsed character and dialogue data. In the parsed data, CASPER LINDLEY is connected to 4 scenes, 5 dialogue lines, 10 text mentions, first appearing around scene 106.
4 scenes / 5 dialogue linesThe scene begins with title page information for the script, followed by a visual card displaying classified file details for 'Project Sawtooth', and concludes with a 'FADE IN' transition.
In a small Texas town, a group of intellectuals, including Professor Toichi Hikita, are filmed for a home movie as a narrator provides exposition about the Cold War, the revival of Hikita's work, and the introduction of Doctor Masado Banzai and his son, Buckaroo.
NARRATORAt a test site, Dr. Banzai and Sir Alan Motley prepare for takeoff in a speed vehicle, while the Narrator introduces the team and their mission. Dr. Sandra Banzai makes final preparations, and their young son Buckaroo Banzai says goodbye to his father before being taken to a shelter.
NARRATORProfessor Hikita monitors equipment as Sandra Banzai and Buckaroo enter an enclosure, where a speed machine suddenly emits a loud noise and blinding green flames.
At a test site, Sandra Banzai, her husband, Sir Alan, Buckaroo, and Professor Hikita are caught in the explosion of an experimental car. The scene then transitions to a card indicating "TODAY THIRTY YEARS LATER" as Mission Control begins a countdown.
MISSION CONTROLInside a blockhouse, Professor Hikita monitors the power source output and confirms the multi-stage axial compressor is latched.
Professor Toichi HikitaAt a proving ground, technicians in asbestos suits are filling the tanks of an unusual strategic automobile with highly flammable fuel.
In a blockhouse filled with VIPs and media, Professor Hikita monitors fuel pressure while General Catburd expresses concern that "Banzai" hasn't arrived. Meanwhile, Buckaroo's men, Reno and Perfect Tommy, are casually waiting, with Perfect Tommy sending Reno to check on their boss.
Reno, Perfect Tommy, Professor Toichi Hikita, General CatburdDoctor Buckaroo Banzai is in an operating room, intensely focused during surgery.
A nurse answers a phone call and hands it to Rawhide, who then speaks into his Go-Fone, requesting an estimate for Buckaroo.
Rawhide, NURSEBuckaroo Banzai, a skilled surgeon, is seen in an operating room, speaking into his GO-FONE while meticulously performing brain surgery on a patient with a laser knife, surrounded by his medical team.
Buckaroo BanzaiRawhide, speaking on the phone, informs someone that the chief needs ten more minutes and instructs them not to start without them, as a chopper is waiting.
RawhidePerfect Tommy flirts with a TV anchorwoman who is waiting to interview Buckaroo, while also subtly indicating Buckaroo's temporary absence. He makes a playful threat about his hat, which the anchorwoman responds to with a witty remark.
Perfect Tommy, TV ANCHORWOMANA Star Surgeon in a scrub room watches a TV showing Dr. Banzai's jet car, then discusses Dr. Banzai's innovative medical procedure with Rawhide, who explains the details of the surgery.
STAR SURGEON, RawhideBuckaroo Banzai finishes a surgery and, after the Jewish Physician (Dr. Zwibel) apologizes for panicking, offers him a full-time position, inquiring if he can sing.
Buckaroo Banzai, DR. ZWIBEL, JEWISH PHYSICIANProfessor Hikita and Mission Control confirm the launch sequence, while General Catburd and other VIPs observe a man in a commando suit, carrying a briefcase, climbing into the Jet Car.
MISSION CONTROL, Professor Toichi HikitaThe scene describes the interior of a jet car from the driver's perspective, detailing its unique controls and personal touches, before showing the driver installing a gyroscopic device.
Professor Hikita observes a monitor in a blockhouse where a light indicates "Overthruster Armed," then covers the light with a hanky.
The scene opens on a jet car during the day, which is quiet and appears to be waiting.
In a blockhouse, General Catburd, the Secretary of Defense, and Senator Cunningham discuss a new piece of equipment, with Catburd expressing skepticism about its capabilities.
SECRETARY OF DEFENSE, SENATOR CUNNINGHAM, General CatburdThe Jet Car undergoes a rapid transformation as two stabilizer fins and a jet engine suddenly appear on its rear deck.
Buckaroo Banzai prepares his jet car for an event, donning a Kamikaze scarf and dramatically activating the vehicle's engine before speaking a final line.
Buckaroo BanzaiThe scene describes a jet car emitting multiple twenty-foot sheets of fire from its rear.
Inside the blockhouse, the Cavaliers and other officials observe monitors while Professor Hikita counts down to a critical point.
Professor Toichi HikitaProfessor Hikita counts down as Buckaroo Banzai activates the twin accelerators in his Jet Car, causing it to lurch forward.
PROF. HIKITA'S VOICEA jet car blasts off, creating a dramatic display of fire and smoke.
In a blockhouse, General Catburd and Senator Cunningham observe a jet car on monitors, with Catburd expressing doubt about its simplicity for military use and Cunningham showing curiosity.
SENATOR CUNNINGHAM, General CatburdThe scene opens inside a helicopter high above the ground, where a TV news crew is filming. The camera then shows an over-the-shoulder view of a jet car's exhaust trail polluting the landscape below.
The scene opens inside a jet car during the day, showing the highway from Buckaroo's point of view as he travels.
In a blockhouse, Rawhide and Reno watch TV monitors while Perfect Tommy explains to a TV anchorwoman how Buckaroo is managing to keep something on the ground.
Perfect Tommy, TV ANCHORWOMANAt the proving grounds, a jet car speeds past high-speed cameras, causing the earth to shake.
Professor Hikita reports on a vehicle's progress, while the Secretary of Defense expresses excitement and General Catburd dismisses the achievement.
SECRETARY OF DEFENSE, Professor Toichi Hikita, General CatburdInside the jet car, Buckaroo performs an amazing action by flicking his directional signal.
The scene begins with a jet car moving from a paved surface to open terrain, with a directive to intercut between the blockhouse and the jet car.
Inside a jet car, Buckaroo quickly extinguishes a fire that breaks out on a dashboard gauge while danger lights flash.
The scene opens outside a jet car during the day, where both the vehicle and its driver are enduring immense physical pressures.
Professor Hikita attempts to contact Buckaroo, who is then advised by Mission Control to abort.
MISSION CONTROL, Professor Toichi HikitaInside a jet car, Buckaroo Banzai delivers a firm refusal.
Buckaroo BanzaiProfessor Hikita listens intently to Buckaroo's voice, which is coming through static and crackle, showing determination.
Buckaroo is inside his jet car, accelerating rapidly and struggling to control the powerful machine as oil and smoke fill the cockpit.
Inside a network helicopter, a newsman and cameraman witness a jet car flaming across the desert, accompanied by a sonic boom.
Buckaroo Banzai's Jet Car is on fire and speeding uncontrollably towards a mountain range, causing panic among Mission Control and other observers. Professor Hikita translates Buckaroo's seemingly nonchalant final words as impact appears imminent.
General Catburd, TV ANCHORWOMAN, MISSION CONTROL, SECRETARY OF DEFENSE, SENATOR CUNNINGHAM, Professor Toichi HikitaBuckaroo Banzai is in his jet car, rapidly approaching a mountain, and prepares to activate the "OSCILLATION OVERTHURSTER" as a collision seems imminent.
In the Mission Control Room, all instruments suddenly lose contact with the jet car, causing shock and confusion among the personnel as the vehicle vanishes from their scopes.
MISSION CONTROL, General CatburdBuckaroo navigates his jet car through the Eighth Dimension, encountering an organic asteroid and extreme G-forces that shatter his visor, as he frantically tries to operate the vehicle's controls amidst fire and smoke.
A TV crew in a helicopter witnesses a jet car emerge from a solid rock mountain, leaving the newsman in shock and disbelief.
HELICOPTER NEWSMANProfessor Hikita celebrates triumphantly amidst chaos and confusion in Mission Control.
Professor Toichi HikitaFifty miles downrange, Buckaroo attempts to slow down the speeding, smoke-filled Jet Car.
A jet car deploys a parachute, which immediately rips off due to the high velocity wind.
Buckaroo Banzai, inside his jet car, announces his intention to perform a risky maneuver by laying the car sideways, then executes it by reaching for the hand brake and spinning a knob.
Buckaroo BanzaiBuckaroo miraculously brings his racing jet car to a skidding halt in a thicket of dry brush while a network helicopter circles overhead.
Buckaroo inspects his damaged jet car, discovering a strange gelatinous substance and a spherical parasite, while a news helicopter lands nearby and his mobile phone beeps.
Inside a chaotic blockhouse, General Catburd attempts to make a phone call but finds no one on the other end.
General CatburdBuckaroo ignores his ringing phone, eats a sandwich, and then carefully picks up a bizarre parasite from the desert floor before finally reaching for his car phone.
The Secretary of Defense angrily confronts "Buckaroo" about a new threat, but Professor Hikita snatches the phone to urgently ask "Buckaroo" if they saw "them."
SECRETARY OF DEFENSE, Professor Toichi HikitaBuckaroo Banzai is in his jet car, talking on the phone about a near-miss incident that broke his windshield, as two figures approach him from a news helicopter.
Buckaroo BanzaiGeneral Catburd tries to buy something from Professor Hikita, who refuses, while the Secretary of Defense prepares to call the President, and Perfect Tommy and Reno intimidate Catburd.
SECRETARY OF DEFENSE, Perfect Tommy, Professor Toichi Hikita, General CatburdDoctor Lizardo, an orange-haired old man in an insane asylum, watches TV footage of a jet car test, scribbles equations, and then constructs a homemade electromagnet which he plugs into an electrical socket, causing an electrical current to course through his body and leading into a flashback.
DOCTOR LIZARDO, ANCHORWOMAN ON TV, RAWHIDE ON TV, PERFECT TOMMY ON TVIn a flashback forty-six years prior, a young Doctor Lizardo undergoes an experimental rocket sled ride aimed at a brick wall, which turns out to be a portal to another dimension where he is attacked by grotesque creatures. Pulled back by his assistants, Lizardo emerges transformed into a fearsome, orange-haired beast who then escapes the laboratory.
DOCTOR LIZARDO, Professor Toichi HikitaA guard enters Lizardo's room to confiscate his TV due to excessive power consumption, leaving Lizardo agitated and fixated on an unusual equation on his ceiling and his desire for the "Overthruster."
DOCTOR LIZARDO, GUARDThe scene opens inside a nightclub at night, focusing on the setup of musical instruments, including drums with a "BANZAI LOGO," as an unseen audience waits.
The Hong Kong Cavaliers prepare to go on stage in their dressing room, where Buckaroo Banzai arrives late and hungry, and the team discusses a mysterious specimen from the Jet Car that resembles a mutated praying mantis before being called to perform.
Buckaroo Banzai, Rawhide, Perfect Tommy, ARTIE DUNCAN, Reno, Professor Toichi HikitaBuckaroo, the Hong Kong Cavaliers, and their Blue Shield escorts are seen hustling down a backstage corridor.
Buckaroo Banzai and his Hong Kong Cavaliers perform at a nightclub, but Buckaroo stops the show when he hears a woman, Penny Priddy, crying in the audience. After a brief conversation where Penny reveals her misfortunes and attempts to commit suicide with a pistol, she is apprehended by security while Buckaroo and his band resume their performance.
Buckaroo Banzai, Penny Priddy, ARTIE DUNCAN'S VOICEDr. Lizardo, a patient in a criminally insane corridor, brutally kills a guard to make a phone call to John Bigboote, announcing his return and demanding an "overthruster" before escaping.
DR. LIZARDO, GUARDBuckaroo Banzai and his Cavaliers are on their bus when Rawhide informs them that Dr. Emilio Lizardo, an eccentric genius with a dark past related to the Eighth Dimension, has escaped from a mental institution, prompting Buckaroo to prepare for whatever comes next.
Reno, Buckaroo Banzai, Perfect Tommy, RawhideBuckaroo Banzai and his team are in an electronic nerve center where a technical expert, Radar Shield One, points out an abnormal high-altitude electrostatic disturbance over Connecticut. Buckaroo dismisses the Jet Car as the cause and instructs them to investigate further for a volcanic ash cloud and send the data to Reno.
Buckaroo Banzai, RADAR SHEILD ONEBuckaroo enters the passenger section of a bus, leading to the realization that the bus is in motion.
Buckaroo Banzai's bus, emblazoned with his name and the Hong Kong Cavaliers, pulls up to a police station.
Buckaroo Banzai and his team meet Dr. Zwibel, a surgeon dressed in cowboy gear, at a police station, where Reno and Perfect Tommy playfully tease him before sending him off with Reno to the bus.
Buckaroo Banzai, DR. ZWIBEL, Perfect Tommy, RenoBuckaroo Banzai visits Penny Priddy in her cell, where their conversation about her past and his mysterious knowledge of her origins culminates in him demanding her release into his custody, despite Perfect Tommy's objections.
Buckaroo Banzai, Penny Priddy, Perfect TommyBuckaroo Banzai and Professor Hikita hold a press conference to explain the existence of a simultaneous plane of existence within solid matter and the technology to access it, revealing images of a U.S. Navy frigate and a pirate vessel from the Eighth Dimension, while Buckaroo is called by the President.
Buckaroo Banzai, SECRETARY OF DEFENSE, RADAR SHIELD ONE, 1ST REPORTER, 2ND REPORTER, Penny PriddyA large, spiky spacecraft approaches Earth from outer space.
The scene describes a mysterious, smoky cloud room inside a spacecraft, illuminated by eerie yellow light, where black brooding creatures are at controls. Buckaroo Banzai's voice is heard, attempting to contact the President amidst the sounds of telephone switching equipment.
Buckaroo BanzaiBuckaroo Banzai and his team attempt to contact the President from a pay phone but encounter interference, leading to an inexplicable electrical surge that shocks Buckaroo and compels him to write mysterious numbers on his hand.
Buckaroo Banzai, Reno, RADAR SHIELD ONE, RawhideIn a conference room, Professor Hikita explains the Oscillation Overthruster, but the discussion is interrupted when Buckaroo Banzai identifies two audience members as "Arachtoid" aliens from the eighth dimension. As Buckaroo pursues the fleeing aliens, another redhead, John Bigbooté, kidnaps Professor Hikita, wounds Reno, and escapes, leaving Penny Priddy and Senator Cunningham to lament the situation.
Buckaroo Banzai, SECRETARY OF DEFENSE, SENATOR CUNNINGHAM, JOHN BIGBOOT, Reno, Penny PriddyBuckaroo chases two monstrous red aliens through the hotel bowels, running down stairs and bursting through a swinging door.
Buckaroo falls into an underground parking garage during a motorcycle show, spots shadowy figures loading a crate into a van, and then commandeers a motorcycle to chase them, ignoring an exhibitor's warning.
EXHIBITORThe Cavaliers meet in a corridor, searching for Buckaroo and the professor, expressing their frustration at not finding them.
Reno, Perfect Tommy, RawhideA van speeds through city streets, pursued by a motorcycle.
SECRETARY OF DEFENSE Well let me tell you something, Mr. Perfect Tommy: I don't need this shit. I could be on Easy Street with a cushy job in the private sector. But instead, I got me a nine-hundred-million-dollar way-the- hell-behind-schedule top-secret bomber being built down there by Yoyodyne Propulsion Systems and I don't intend to set twiddling thumbs in a bus while Buckaroo Banzai goes crashing around my airplane looking for his damn girlfriend, driving a car that itself is probably worth more to this country than all the tea in China! I'm talking National Security risk and we are going in there like gentlemen and straighten this thing out before somebody gets hurt! You got that?
BUCKAROO BANZAI Mr. Secretary...Senator Cunningham, ladies and gentlemen...thirty years ago, nearly to this day, my mother and father and Sir Alan Motley, all former colleagues of Professor Toichi Hikita at the Texas School of Mines, gave their lives for what was considered at the time an insane notion: the possibility of contacting alien life... not on another planet, but on a simultaneous plane of existence within solid matter...life which, before the war, Professor Hikita had actually glimpsed while pioneering a highly primitive gravity catapult with Doctor Emilio Lizardo.
PRESIDENT WIDMARK I'm glad someone has the balls to face facts! Forget we're the good guys and we'd never attack first. They think we're godless monsters just like them. Put yourself in their samovars...sitting in the dark without radar, bells ringing all over the damn Kremlin, little men in fedora hats getting out of Zils, coming into the Great Hall of the People. Now, do you think they're gonna listen to reason? I'll give Buckaroo his Planet 10 space cloud, but do you think they will?
JOHN EMDALL And now, you, Buckaroo Banzai, have unintentionally helped John Whorfin further with your Oscillation Overthruster! For our intelligence warns us that John Whorfin is about to make good his escape from Earth back through the Eighth Dimension...and on to Planet 10! If he should attempt this we will have no choice but to disrupt worldwide electronic communications and fire a particle beam weapon from your airspace to Smolensk, in the Union of the Soviet Socialist Republics.
NARRATOR The advent of the Soviet nuclear capability ushers in a dangerous phase of the Cold War as the decade of the 1950s looms. Stung by this Soviet challenge and the rapid race to develop ever more sophisticated weapons, the United States resurrects maverick Professor Toichi Hikita's work in electromagnetic particle acceleration...despite the dismal record of failure that has dogged the project.
ANCHORWOMAN ON TV Here she is, slowed down. Lookit there...slam! Right into the side of that mountain! Perfect Tommy, Rawhide, Reno, you guys're the Hong Kong Cavaliers. Buckaroo's most trusted inner circle. So I gotta ask, did it surprise you fellas as much as the rest of us when the BJV, the experimental jet vehicle went right off the scope and apparently smack into a black void?
JOHN EMDALL After a bloody reign of terror, the hated leader of our military caste, the self-proclaimed "Lord" Whorfin, a bloodthirsty butcher as evil as your Hitler was overthrown by freedom-loving forces, tried, and condemned, along with several hundred of his followers, to spend eternity in the formless void of the Eighth Dimension. Death was deemed too good for their ilk.
BUCKAROO BANZAI Can I have everyone's attention? I'm not a rah-rah kinda guy, and I'm not much for speeches, but things could get rough out there tonight. It's a fight we didn't ask for, but it's a fight we're stuck with and we all saw what happened to Rawhide. So if for any reason this is good-bye, I want you all to know that...well...that...you crazy lugs...
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