1970
Eight years after his disappearance, the violent professional soldier Harold Ryan returns home with his pilot to find his wife Penelope engaged to the pacifist Dr. Norbert Woodly and his son Paul idolizing his absent father. Harold immediately clashes with Woodly and attempts to reassert his dominance over Penelope and Paul, while in Heaven, Wanda June and Major Siegfried von Konigswald reflect on their lives and deaths, offering commentary on Harold's actions. Harold's attempts to reconcile with Penelope are met with resistance as she struggles with his violent nature and her new life, while Paul is torn between his sensitive nature and his father's expectations, escalating the conflict as Harold mocks Penelope's suitors. In a final confrontation, Dr. Woodly psychologically breaks Harold by exposing the emptiness of his violent life, leading to Harold's emotional collapse and the uncertain future of the Ryan family.
Save the Cat beat sheet
A missing father, presumed dead, returns to disrupt the lives of his wife Penelope and son Paul.
Open full beat sheetHarold Ryan is listed as Antagonist. A professional soldier and hunter, missing for eight years, obsessed with violence and manliness. In the parsed data, Harold Ryan is connected to 15 scenes, 240 dialogue lines, 252 text mentions, first appearing around scene 1.
15 scenes / 240 dialogue linesPenelope Ryan is listed as Protagonist. Wife of Harold Ryan, mother of Paul, educated, struggling with the return of her husband. In the parsed data, Penelope Ryan is connected to 11 scenes, 130 dialogue lines, 131 text mentions, first appearing around scene 1.
11 scenes / 130 dialogue linesPaul Ryan is listed as Supporting. Penelope and Harold's twelve-year-old son, sensitive but idolizes his father. In the parsed data, Paul Ryan is connected to 11 scenes, 62 dialogue lines, 62 text mentions, first appearing around scene 6.
11 scenes / 62 dialogue linesColonel Looseleaf Harper is listed as Supporting. Harold's pilot, dropped the atom bomb on Nagasaki, simple-minded and traumatized. In the parsed data, Colonel Looseleaf Harper is connected to 8 scenes, 24 dialogue lines, 24 text mentions, first appearing around scene 4.
8 scenes / 24 dialogue linesDr. Norbert Woodly is listed as Supporting. A physician, pacifist, and Penelope's suitor. In the parsed data, Dr. Norbert Woodly is connected to 7 scenes, 85 dialogue lines, 86 text mentions, first appearing around scene 1.
7 scenes / 85 dialogue linesHerb Shuttle is listed as Supporting. A vacuum cleaner salesman and Penelope's suitor. In the parsed data, Herb Shuttle is connected to 6 scenes, 27 dialogue lines, 27 text mentions, first appearing around scene 2.
6 scenes / 27 dialogue linesMajor Siegfried von Konigswald is listed as Ghost. A Nazi SS officer killed by Harold, now in Heaven. In the parsed data, Major Siegfried von Konigswald is connected to 3 scenes, 2 dialogue lines, 3 text mentions, first appearing around scene 7.
3 scenes / 2 dialogue linesWanda June is listed as Ghost. A young girl who died in an accident, now in Heaven. In the parsed data, Wanda June is connected to 3 scenes, 1 dialogue line, 2 text mentions, first appearing around scene 4.
3 scenes / 1 dialogue linesMildred is listed as Ghost. Harold's third wife, now in Heaven. In the parsed data, Mildred is connected to 2 scenes, 1 text mention, first appearing around scene 13.
2 scenes / 0 dialogue linesPenelope introduces the play and her family situation, including the disappearance of her husband Harold. Paul, her son, expresses his belief that Harold is still alive. Woodly and Shuttle arrive, leading to tension regarding Penelope's future and Paul's resentment.
Penelope Ryan, Harold Ryan, Dr. Norbert Woodly, Colonel Looseleaf Harper, Paul Ryan, Herb ShuttleShuttle and Woodly argue about life and politics while waiting for Penelope. Paul becomes upset about his father's birthday and runs away, leading to a search.
Penelope Ryan, Dr. Norbert Woodly, Paul Ryan, Herb ShuttleHarold and Looseleaf return to the apartment and find Woodly sleeping on the couch. Harold interrogates Woodly about his relationship with Penelope.
Harold Ryan, Dr. Norbert Woodly, Colonel Looseleaf HarperWanda June describes her death and life in Heaven, followed by Looseleaf Harper reflecting on his past.
Wanda June, Colonel Looseleaf HarperHarold recounts the night he met Penelope at a drive-in restaurant.
Harold Ryan, Penelope RyanPaul returns home and encounters Harold, who tells him stories about his father.
Paul Ryan, Harold RyanMajor Siegfried von Konigswald reflects on his life and death at the hands of Harold Ryan.
Major Siegfried von KonigswaldHarold concludes his story to Paul about the village of Mhravitch.
Harold Ryan, Paul RyanHarold tells Paul about his war exploits, Penelope and Shuttle return home, and Penelope reveals her engagement to Dr. Woodly.
Penelope Ryan, Harold Ryan, Paul Ryan, Herb ShuttleHarold and Penelope attempt to reconcile, Dr. Woodly is insulted, and Looseleaf Harper arrives with news of a death.
Penelope Ryan, Harold Ryan, Dr. Norbert Woodly, Colonel Looseleaf Harper, Paul RyanHarold demands food and orders Paul to exercise, while Penelope objects to his behavior.
Penelope Ryan, Harold Ryan, Paul RyanHarold forces Penelope to cook and discusses his views on women and heroism.
Penelope Ryan, Harold Ryan, Colonel Looseleaf HarperVon Konigswald and Wanda June discuss the afterlife and the Harold Ryan Fan Club.
Wanda June, Major Siegfried von Konigswald, MildredHarold and Looseleaf prepare for a funeral, and Herb Shuttle arrives.
Harold Ryan, Colonel Looseleaf Harper, Herb ShuttlePenelope returns to the house, leading to a confrontation with Harold.
Penelope Ryan, Harold Ryan, Colonel Looseleaf Harper, Paul Ryan, Herb ShuttleLooseleaf prepares to leave, saying goodbye to Harold, Penelope, and Paul. Harold mocks Shuttle, who is also present.
Penelope Ryan, Harold Ryan, Colonel Looseleaf Harper, Paul Ryan, Herb ShuttleHarold confronts Penelope and Paul, demanding they acknowledge his past love, leading to Paul's distress.
Penelope Ryan, Harold Ryan, Paul RyanDr. Woodly arrives to confront Harold; a tense standoff ensues.
Penelope Ryan, Harold Ryan, Dr. Norbert Woodly, Paul RyanHarold and Woodly have a final confrontation; Harold is psychologically broken by Woodly's words.
Harold Ryan, Dr. Norbert Woodly, Wanda June, Major Siegfried von Konigswald, MildredAn Indian narcotic we were forced to drink. It put us in a haze--a honey-colored haze which was lavender around the edge. We laughed, we sang, we snoozed. When a bird called, we answered back. Every living thing was our brother or our sister, we thought. Looseleaf stepped on a cockroach six inches long, and we cried. We had a funeral that went on for five days--for the cockroach! I sang "Oh Promise Me." Can you imagine? Where the hell did I ever learn the words to "Oh Promise Me"? Looseleaf delivered a lecture on maintenance procedures for the hydraulic system of a B-36. All the time we were drinking more blue soup, more blue soup! Never stopped drinking blue soup. Blue soup all the time. We'd go out after food in that honey-colored haze, and everything that was edible had a penumbra of lavender.
Yeah, Jesus--but wars would be a lot better, I think, if guys would say to themselves sometimes, "Jesus--I'm not going to do that to the enemy. That's too much." You could have been the manufacturer of that violin there, even though you don't know how to make a violin, just by not busting it up. I could have been the father of all those people in Nagasaki, and the mother, too, just by not dropping the bomb. I sent 'em to Heaven instead--and I don't think there is one.
Then listen to me. You're both disgusting--with your pride, your pride. I hate you for coming here--like a federal marshal in a western film. I loved you when you stayed away. But here you are now--high noon in the Superbowl! You fool, you fool.
The magic root you gave me--I had it analyzed. It was discovered by a Harvard botanist in 1893! He explored your famous jungle for five years, armed with nothing but kindness, a talent for languages, and a pocketknife.
I don't know what I hope. But I don't think you care what I hope, anyway. You don't know me. You don't know her, either. I don't think you know anybody. You talk to everybody just the same.
The old heroes are going to have to get used to this, Harold--the new heroes who refuse to fight. They're trying to save the planet. There's no time for battle, no point to battle anymore.
You can never take yourself seriously again! Look at all the creatures you've protected us from! Did you shoot them on the elevator, as they were on their way up here to eat us alive?
I am Harold Ryan, her husband. I have killed perhaps two hundred men in wars of various sorts--as a professional soldier. I have killed thousands of other animals as well--for sport.
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