Scripts
Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys poster

2004

Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys script

Dave Barry, the guide and narrator, explores the perplexing world of men, from their inexplicable obsessions with sports and gadgets to their avoidance of doctors and domestic responsibilities. Roger, a typical guy, embodies many of these traits, often injuring himself in silly competitions and struggling with basic home repairs, much to the exasperation of his partner, Elaine. The film delves into the origins of male behavior, from prehistoric times when women set standards for their cave-dwelling partners to modern-day frustrations over laundry and communication. As Dave interviews various individuals, including experts, celebrities, and everyday people, he uncovers the universal quirks and challenges of being a guy, highlighting the often-humorous disconnect between male and female perspectives. Ultimately, Dave concludes his guide by attempting a daring hang-gliding flight, symbolizing the adventurous yet often misguided spirit of men, while John Madden offers a final, fitting commentary on the enduring mysteries of the male species.

Writer
Jeff Arch
IMDb ID (imdb_id)
tt0407680
Script date
February 2nd, 2004
85Scenes
12Characters
69Pages
8Dialogue samples

Save the Cat beat sheet

Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys Save the Cat analysis

Dave Barry’s guide uses a series of comedic vignettes and documentary‐style interviews to explore male behavior and relationships.

Open full beat sheet
40

Key characters

Dave Barry

Dave Barry is listed as Narrator/Host. The guide and narrator of the film. In the parsed data, Dave Barry is connected to 46 scenes, 62 dialogue lines, 63 text mentions, first appearing around scene 3.

46 scenes / 62 dialogue lines

Roger

Roger is listed as Protagonist. A typical guy. In the parsed data, Roger is connected to 28 scenes, 70 dialogue lines, 79 text mentions, first appearing around scene 12.

28 scenes / 70 dialogue lines

Elaine

Elaine is listed as Protagonist. Roger's partner. In the parsed data, Elaine is connected to 22 scenes, 63 dialogue lines, 69 text mentions, first appearing around scene 12.

22 scenes / 63 dialogue lines

Gene

Gene is listed as Friend. Roger's friend. In the parsed data, Gene is connected to 12 scenes, 24 dialogue lines, 26 text mentions, first appearing around scene 7.

12 scenes / 24 dialogue lines

Steve

Steve is listed as Handyman. The ultimate competent guy. In the parsed data, Steve is connected to 11 scenes, 16 dialogue lines, 29 text mentions, first appearing around scene 8.

11 scenes / 16 dialogue lines

Kelly

Kelly is listed as Friend. Gene's partner. In the parsed data, Kelly is connected to 9 scenes, 24 dialogue lines, 27 text mentions, first appearing around scene 7.

9 scenes / 24 dialogue lines

John Madden

John Madden is listed as Commentator. Sports commentator. In the parsed data, John Madden is connected to 7 scenes, 18 dialogue lines, 19 text mentions, first appearing around scene 10.

7 scenes / 18 dialogue lines

Leopold

Leopold is listed as Agent. An agent watching the beach. In the parsed data, Leopold is connected to 3 scenes, 9 dialogue lines, 9 text mentions, first appearing around scene 1.

3 scenes / 9 dialogue lines

Stearns

Stearns is listed as Agent. An agent with a rifle on the roof. In the parsed data, Stearns is connected to 3 scenes, 3 dialogue lines, 3 text mentions, first appearing around scene 2.

3 scenes / 3 dialogue lines

Albert

Albert is listed as Elderly man. Lenore's husband. In the parsed data, Albert is connected to 2 scenes, 7 dialogue lines, 7 text mentions, first appearing around scene 31.

2 scenes / 7 dialogue lines

Lenore

Lenore is listed as Elderly woman. An older woman talking about her husband. In the parsed data, Lenore is connected to 2 scenes, 3 dialogue lines, 3 text mentions, first appearing around scene 31.

2 scenes / 3 dialogue lines

Sheryl Crow

Sheryl Crow is listed as Musician. Musician interviewed for the film. In the parsed data, Sheryl Crow is connected to 1 scene, 4 dialogue lines, 4 text mentions, first appearing around scene 30.

1 scenes / 4 dialogue lines

Scene outline

  1. 1. EXT. Miami - Ocean Ave, South Beach - DAY

    Two men in Hawaiian shirts walk along the promenade while being monitored by agents.

    Leopold, Stearns

  2. 2. EXT. Roof of the Beacon Hotel - CONTINUOUS

    Agents Leopold and Stearns watch the beach through binoculars and discuss a woman.

    Leopold, Stearns

  3. 3. EXT. Miami Beach - DAY

    Dave Barry appears, explains 'Lust Induced Brain Freeze', and is confronted by agents.

    Dave Barry, Leopold, Stearns

  4. 4. INT. Living Room - NIGHT

    A husband tells his wife he is leaving her for a younger woman.

    Dave Barry

  5. 5. INT. Bar/Restaurant - NIGHT

    A husband ignores his wife's breakup attempt to watch sports on TV.

    Dave Barry, John Madden

  6. 6. EXT. Front Porch - DAY

    Lenore and Albert discuss their marriage and Albert's obsession with a GPS device.

    Dave Barry, Lenore, Albert

  7. 7. INT. New Father Gene's Home - DAY

    Gene and Kelly discuss a new toy for their child.

    Gene, Kelly

  8. 8. EXT. Ed's Auto Shop - DAY

    Dave interviews Ed about his fireworks collection.

    Dave Barry, Steve

  9. 9. INT. Dave's Car - DAY

    Dave reflects on guys and their hobbies.

    Dave Barry

  10. 10. EXT. City Street, Philadelphia - DAY

    A girl comments on guys at work.

  11. 11. EXT. Wall Street - DAY

    Dave talks to a broker about office jokes.

    Dave Barry

  12. 12. INT. Elaine's Car - DAY

    Elaine picks up an injured Roger.

    Roger, Elaine

  13. 13. INT. Newspaper Building - DAY

    Roger listens to his coworkers argue about a footrace.

    Roger, Gene

  14. 14. EXT. City Park - DAY

    The guys race and Roger gets injured.

    Roger, Gene

  15. 15. INT. Elaine's Apartment - NIGHT

    Elaine helps an injured Roger home.

    Roger, Elaine

  16. 16. INT. Doctor's Office - DAY

    A doctor explains why men avoid doctors.

  17. 17. INT. Exam Room - DAY

    A patient describes severe symptoms.

  18. 18. INT. Miami Outdoor Cafe - DAY

    Dave and women discuss men's feelings.

    Dave Barry

  19. 19. EXT. Suburban Townhouse - NIGHT

    Roger and Elaine arrive at Gene's house.

    Roger, Elaine

  20. 20. INT. Den - NIGHT

    Roger and Gene hang out.

    Roger, Gene

  21. 21. INT. Kitchen - NIGHT

    Elaine and Kelly plan a party.

    Elaine, Kelly

  22. 22. INT. Den - NIGHT

    Roger and Gene watch a commercial.

    Roger, Gene

  23. 23. EXT. Hotel Pool - DAY

    Dave narrates how Roger and Elaine met.

    Dave Barry, Roger, Elaine

  24. 24. INT. Bowling Alley - NIGHT

    Dave narrates Roger and Elaine's dating.

    Dave Barry

  25. 25. EXT. Restaurant Parking Lot - NIGHT

    Roger and Elaine share a moment.

    Roger, Elaine

  26. 26. INT. Roger's Car - NIGHT

    Roger and Elaine have an internal monologue conversation.

    Roger, Elaine

  27. 27. INT. Roger's Apartment - NIGHT

    Roger watches soccer.

    Roger

  28. 28. EXT. Juice Bar - DAY

    Elaine talks to Kelly about Roger.

    Elaine, Kelly

  29. 29. EXT. Local Hoops Court - DAY

    Roger and Gene play basketball.

    Roger, Gene

  30. 30. INT. Recording Studio - DAY

    Dave interviews Sheryl Crow.

    Dave Barry, Sheryl Crow

  31. 31. INT. Living Room - DAY

    An elderly couple discusses their past.

    Lenore, Albert

  32. 32. INT. ROGER AND ELAINE'S MARRIED HOUSE - DAY

    Roger and Elaine argue about a stuck front door and a broken water heater.

    Roger, Elaine, Dave Barry

  33. 33. EXT. CUL DE SAC - DAY

    Steve leaves a house, appearing as a hero to the neighborhood women.

    Steve, Dave Barry

  34. 34. INT. ROGER AND ELAINE'S HOUSE - DAY

    Roger attempts to fix the water heater in the basement while Elaine waits.

    Roger, Elaine

  35. 35. EXT. ROGER AND ELAINE'S HOUSE - DAY

    Elaine and Kelly discuss Roger's incompetence with tools.

    Elaine, Kelly, Roger

  36. 36. INT. HARDWARE STORE - DAY

    Roger buys a tool set and talks to the camera.

    Roger, Dave Barry

  37. 37. EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY

    Roger reflects on his lack of mechanical knowledge.

    Roger, Dave Barry

  38. 38. EXT. COMPETENT GUYS' TAVERN - DAY

    Steve lookalikes gather at a tavern.

    Steve

  39. 39. EXT. ROGER AND ELAINE'S HOUSE - DAY

    Steve arrives to fix the door and the water heater.

    Steve, Elaine, Roger

  40. 40. INT. ROGER AND ELAINE'S BASEMENT - DAY

    Steve fixes the water heater while Roger watches.

    Steve, Roger

  41. 41. EXT. ROGER AND ELAINE'S HOUSE - DAY

    Steve leaves after fixing the heater and making a toy for the kid.

    Steve, Roger, Elaine

  42. 42. INT. STEVE'S TRUCK - DAY

    Dave rides with Steve and they listen to sports radio.

    Dave Barry, Steve

  43. 43. INT. RADIO STATION - DAY

    Mike the Moose discusses a sports trade with Dave.

    John Madden, Dave Barry

  44. 44. INT. ROGER AND ELAINE'S HOUSE - NIGHT

    Roger and Gene watch a basketball game.

    Roger, Gene

  45. 45. INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT

    Elaine and Kelly discuss the men's obsession with sports.

    Elaine, Kelly, Dave Barry

  46. 46. INT. THE DEN - NIGHT

    Dave demonstrates Concern Rays.

    Dave Barry, Roger, Gene, Elaine, Kelly

  47. 47. EXT. ARENA - NIGHT

    Concern Rays descend on the arena.

    Dave Barry

  48. 48. INT. ROGER AND ELAINE'S HOUSE - NIGHT

    Roger and Gene celebrate the game outcome.

    Roger, Gene

  49. 49. INT. MIAMI INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT - DAY

    Dave introduces the public rest room problem.

    Dave Barry

  50. 50. INT. RED CARPET CLUB - DAY

    Dave interviews a social scientist.

    Dave Barry

  51. 51. EXT. VIDEO PRODUCTION TRUCK - DAY

    Dave interviews John Madden.

    Dave Barry, John Madden

  52. 52. INT. VIDEO TRUCK - DAY

    John Madden diagrams bathroom behavior.

    Dave Barry, John Madden

  53. 53. EXT. UNIVERSITY OF MIAMI - DAY

    Dave walks through campus and reflects on the midlife crisis.

    Dave Barry

  54. 54. INT. ELEVATOR - DAY

    A guy in a suit laments the passage of time and classic rock.

  55. 55. INT. SHOPPING MALL BARBER SHOP - DAY

    The barber discusses the male version of menopause with Dave.

    Dave Barry

  56. 56. INT. BAR - DAY

    The bartender talks to Dave about the regrets of men.

    Dave Barry

  57. 57. INT. LAWYER'S OFFICE - DAY

    A lawyer has a breakdown while dictating a memo to his secretary.

  58. 58. EXT. JOHNNY LAKE'S HANG GLIDING CENTER - DAY

    The lawyer visits Johnny Lake to learn hang gliding.

  59. 59. INT. ORTHOPEDIC SURGEON'S OFFICE - DAY

    Johnny Lake and the lawyer wait for the surgeon.

  60. 60. EXT. GUYS WHO WISH THEY HAD DIFFERENT JOBS TAVERN - DAY

    Dave introduces the topic of sex.

    Dave Barry

  61. 61. EXT. SHOPPING MALL PARKING LOT - DAY

    Dave introduces the segment on euphemisms.

    Dave Barry

  62. 62. INT. MALL BOOKSTORE - DAY

    Dave discusses surveys about men.

    Dave Barry

  63. 63. INT. VICTORIA'S SECRET - DAY

    Dave discusses male euphemisms.

    Dave Barry

  64. 64. EXT. NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM - DAY

    Dave discusses the evolutionary origins of male behavior.

    Dave Barry

  65. 65. INT. NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM - CONTINUOUS

    Dave continues the discussion on modern expectations.

    Dave Barry

  66. 66. EXT. SKI CABIN - NIGHT

    Dave observes Gene and Kelly.

    Dave Barry, Gene, Kelly

  67. 67. INT. SKI CABIN - CONTINUOUS

    Gene and Kelly enter the cabin.

    Gene, Kelly

  68. 68. EXT. SKI CABIN - CONTINUOUS

    Dave watches the light go off.

    Dave Barry

  69. 69. INT. ROGER AND ELAINE'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

    Dave interviews Roger.

    Dave Barry, Roger, Elaine

  70. 70. INT. ROGER AND ELAINE'S KITCHEN - NIGHT

    Dave makes a sandwich and talks about standards.

    Dave Barry

  71. 71. EXT. PREHISTORIC CUL DE SAC - DAY

    Primate women are working.

  72. 72. INT. PRIMATE ROGER AND ELAINE'S CAVE - DAY

    Primate Elaine decides to set standards.

    Elaine

  73. 73. EXT. OUTSIDE THE CAVES - DAY

    Primate women discuss standards.

    Elaine

  74. 74. EXT. TRAIL BACK TO THE CAVES - DUSK

    Primate men return.

    Roger, Gene

  75. 75. INT. PRIMATE ROGER AND ELAINE'S CAVE - NIGHT

    Primate Elaine confronts Primate Roger about his new rock.

    Roger, Elaine

  76. 76. EXT. MIAMI, BAYSIDE COMPLEX - DAY

    Dave discusses modern standards.

    Dave Barry

  77. 77. INT. DEPARTMENT STORE - DAY

    Dave discusses domestic standards.

    Dave Barry

  78. 78. INT. COLLEGE GUY APARTMENT - DAY

    College guys decide what their place needs.

  79. 79. INT. COLLEGE GUY APARTMENT - DAY

    The apartment months later.

  80. 80. EXT. SEATTLE - E-CAFE - DAY

    A girl discusses laundry.

Dialogue examples

that's how you know it's a real movie, in my book. That's how you know it's not some boring kinda art piece made by these tortured head case kids fresh outta film school -- you're not gonna come outta this theater talkin' about symbolism, or the use of darkness and light or any kinda mumbo-jumbo like that -- you come out of this movie and you're laughin'. And that's what I like in a movie - a movie that's funny but it doesn't take forever, you know? You still got some time to do somethin' after, maybe go get somethin' to eat, y'know? Because the guys behind the thing knew enough not to drag on and on and

John Madden / Scene 85

Well now you know where things stand. You've learned a little bit about guys, and the critical roles they've played in the past and in modern society today. And for better or worse, they're here with us to stay -- so the best thing you can do about it, is continue to learn about them - by coming to see this movie lots and lots of times, and bringing more and more of your friends back every time you do. Because the more people that understand guys, the better for everyone.

Dave Barry / Scene 84

The way I see it, it's like menopause, right? Except men get it different. It doesn't show, y'see? The cramps don't come, the hot and cold flashes, and you don't have your magazines and drug stores filled with helpful stuff to do about it. But something comes, and it hits every guy who's living whether he likes it or not. Whether he knows it or not. Guy can lose his bleepin' mind if he doesn't watch out.

Steve / Scene 55

Cause you know, a guy in love - a guy who's where your friend's at, anyway - they don't know where they are. They're like an ant, standing on a truck tire. They don't know how they got there - all they know is that's not where they were a minute ago. But then they sort of get vaguely okay with it, you know? They start hangin' out there, they're feelin' pretty good. Until the thing starts moving.

Sheryl Crow / Scene 30

I got used to having the Beatles and Stones called 'classic rock.' Then I heard Elvis Costello on an Oldies station. I figured, okay - who cares - at least it's on somewhere. But then I hear "London Calling," on Muzak. By the Clash. On Muzak. But what the hell. I'm in a suit and I go around all day explaining peoples' 401K plans to them. And Sting's doing commercials for Jaguar.

Roger / Scene 54

Of course when he says you, he doesn't mean me. I don't have jacks. I don't have winches. And Steve has got like fifty kinds of each, right on his truck. If society collapsed, the Steves of the world will be living in nice sturdy shelters that they built with their own hands, eating food that they grew or caught. And I'll be getting shredded to death by wolverines.

Roger / Scene 40

And there are thousands of standards for domestic life, involving even more totally un-guy concepts -- like curtains, bedspreads, napkins, special hangers, little soaps shaped like fruit, and decorative boxes that hold tissues that already come in a box. While guys, left on their own in the wild, will develop lifestyles that don't involve any of these things.

Dave Barry / Scene 77

If there's anything that causes more anguish in a guy than sports anguish, and public restroom anguish, and hardware store anguish, it's the day that he realizes that somehow his life is half over now, and no matter what he tries to tell himself, he's not young anymore and he's never going to be young again. And as any guy'll tell you - it sucks.

Dave Barry / Scene 53

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